Attention, gentlemen:
If you are trying to talk to/hit on a girl in a bar, the following behaviors will get you nowhere:
-Staring from across the room without making any effort to approach, but continuing to stare for the entire night.
-Grinding on the girl while she is trying to dance with her friends.
-Winking. Period.
-Putting your hands anywhere.
-Talking about your hedge fund/investment job. Sorry, nothing you can possibly say will get me interested. Save it for the second (or maybe fourth) date, when I might actually feel indebted to listen.
-Casually mentioning your Gucci loafers.
-Admitting you are from Staten Island.
-Saying you have a six pack.*
Believe it or not, every single one of these happened to me tonight. Normal guys, are you out there? Anywhere? Don't be shy!
*This one actually did not happen to be directly. Instead, the dude who was hitting on me actually had the audacity to approach one of my friends after I had escaped from him and utter the words, "Tell her I've got a six pack. Wanna see?" and then proceeded to LIFT UP HIS SHIRT AND SHOW HER.
As I'm sure you can probably deduce from this, he was the same person who admitted to growing up on Staten Island.
Also, why is it that so many guys assume that just because a girl is out at a bar, she wants to get hit on? Does it not occur to anyone that maybe I just want to go out and have fun with my friends? That perhaps I'm not trolling for men? I DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO YOU. Save your breath.
Thanks!
Love,
Case
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
LOL! A guy once told me that he hasn't had sex in 9 months. Another told me that he was married but no longer is. Another told me to wait in the room for him for 10 minutes, he would arrive for me later.
Aaaaa-f***ing-MEN!!! Tell it, sista!
Normal guys, are you out there? Anywhere? Don't be shy!
Normal guys ARE shy. Duh.
I DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
Normal guys pick up on this. Double duh.
What about mentioning my Zips sneakers? Don't the ladies love Zips?
guys like this need to be punched in the face...seriously the next guy who tells me he works at a hedge fund has it coming!
@ sid: Don't those seem like things a guy would say to make a girl run screaming from the room? But as pick-up lines? Sure!
@ oob: Haha, amen!
@ anonymous: False. Not all normal guys are shy. Also, explain to me how one is supposed to be approachable enough for normal guys, but not approachable enough so that the freaks and tools stay away? Solve that for me, I'm begging you.
Are you a guy? Are you normal? Reveal yourself!
@ HaHa: I can't speak for all women, but...yes.
@ nycponderings: Agreed. Is there some memo going around to hedge fund dudes telling them that girls will put out if you tell them that? If so, they are being led astray!
TO ALL: Sorry it took me forever to respond to comments! I love all y'all!
Post a Comment